Rediscovering joy, curiosity, playfulness and the things that make life feel wonderful.
November 9th 2026 • By Rebecca McGarry
Can you remember the last time you felt truly, wonderfully alive?
Not just happy because something went well. Not relieved because you finally ticked everything off your to-do list. And not content because, for once, nothing was going wrong.
I mean that feeling when you're so completely absorbed in a moment that you forget to check your phone. When you're laughing so hard your stomach hurts. When a song comes on and you can't help but dance. When you're somewhere beautiful, doing something you love, and you find yourself thinking, I wish I could bottle this feeling.
Those moments when life doesn't just feel like something you're getting through.
It feels like something you're actually living.
Now here's another question.
How often do you feel that way?
Because somewhere between growing up, building careers, managing relationships, paying bills and navigating everything life throws at us, something rather curious can happen.
We become incredibly good at managing our lives.
But we sometimes forget how to enjoy them.
And the saddest part?
We might not even notice it's happening.
When Did Life Become So Serious?
Think back to when you were younger.
Perhaps you loved dancing around your bedroom, singing at the top of your lungs, drawing pictures, climbing trees, making up stories or spending hours doing something simply because you enjoyed it.
You didn't need a reason.
You didn't need to be particularly good at it.
And you certainly didn't stop to wonder whether it was a productive use of your afternoon.
You just did it.
Because it was fun.
Somewhere along the way, though, many of us begin to absorb a different message.
Be responsible. Work hard. Make sensible decisions. Don't waste time. Think about your future. Make something of yourself.
And of course, there's nothing wrong with any of those things.
But when responsibility becomes the main character in our lives, joy can quietly become an occasional guest.
We start putting the things we love at the bottom of the list.
We'll take that trip when work settles down.
We'll sign up for that class when we have more time.
We'll spend an afternoon doing absolutely nothing when we've earned it.
We'll start enjoying life properly when everything else is sorted.
Except life has a rather inconvenient habit of never being completely sorted.
There's always another deadline, another responsibility, another problem to solve.
And before we know it, we've spent years preparing to enjoy a life we're already living.
What if joy isn't something we're supposed to earn after everything else is done? What if it's part of what makes the rest of life worthwhile?
The Difference Between Being Busy and Feeling Alive
There's a fascinating distinction between having a full life and feeling fulfilled by it.
You can have a packed calendar, a successful career, wonderful friends, a lovely home and all the things you once thought would make you happy.
And still feel as though something is missing.
Not because you're ungrateful.
Not because your life isn't good enough.
But because being busy and being alive aren't necessarily the same thing.
Psychologists have spent decades exploring what makes human beings flourish, and one particularly interesting area of research looks at something called self-determination theory.
At its heart is the idea that we have three fundamental psychological needs: autonomy, competence and connection.
We want to feel that we have some choice over our lives, that we're growing and capable, and that we belong.
When these needs are supported, our wellbeing tends to improve.
And when they're neglected, life can begin to feel flat, even when everything looks perfectly fine on the outside.
Think about that for a moment.
Perhaps the reason you feel so wonderful when you're travelling somewhere new isn't simply because you're on holiday.
Maybe it's the freedom.
The curiosity.
The sense of possibility.
Perhaps the reason you love spending time with a particular friend isn't just because they're good company.
Maybe it's because you can be completely yourself.
You laugh more. You relax. You stop overthinking.
Or perhaps the reason you feel so good after creating something, learning something new or trying something you've never done before is that you're reconnecting with a part of yourself that doesn't get much attention in everyday life.
The things that make you feel alive often reveal something important about what you need, what you value and who you are.
They're not necessarily distractions from the important stuff.
Sometimes, they're clues to what the important stuff actually is.
The Little Moments That Make a Big Difference
We often imagine that feeling truly alive requires something extraordinary.
Travelling halfway around the world. Falling in love. Changing careers. Climbing a mountain. Having a life-changing experience.
And yes, those moments can be incredible.
But some of the most wonderful moments in life are surprisingly ordinary.
A conversation that goes on for hours.
Walking through a beautiful park on a crisp morning.
Discovering a song that makes you feel something you can't quite explain.
Trying a new recipe and making an absolute mess of the kitchen.
Laughing with someone who knows you so well that you barely need to finish your sentence.
Sitting in the sunshine with a cup of tea and nowhere you particularly need to be.
These moments might seem small.
But they're not insignificant.
Psychologist Barbara Fredrickson's broaden-and-build theory suggests that positive emotions such as joy, interest, gratitude and love can broaden the way we think and respond to the world.
Rather than simply making us feel good for a moment, positive emotions can help us become more open, creative and connected, gradually building psychological and social resources over time.
In other words, joy isn't just the icing on the cake.
It can be part of what helps us navigate life more effectively.
And there's something rather lovely about that.
The things that make us smile, laugh, explore and feel curious aren't frivolous extras.
They can help us build a richer, more resilient life.
Have You Forgotten How to Play?
Here's something I find particularly interesting.
Children don't generally need to be reminded to play.
They don't schedule fifteen minutes of spontaneous fun between meetings.
They don't worry whether their hobbies are impressive enough.
They simply follow what interests them.
As adults, however, we can become remarkably self-conscious about doing things just for the pleasure of doing them.
We worry about looking silly.
We tell ourselves we're too old.
We decide we're not creative, not adventurous, not musical, not athletic, not whatever it happens to be.
And gradually, the boundaries of our lives can become smaller.
Not necessarily because we're incapable of doing these things.
But because we've become so accustomed to staying within what's familiar.
Think about how many times you've said:
“I'd love to try that, but...”
And then filled in the blank with a perfectly reasonable explanation.
I'm too busy.
I'm not very good at it.
I wouldn't know anyone.
It's a bit silly.
Maybe another time.
But what if being good at something was never the point?
What if you could dance badly, paint terribly, sing off-key, take a class simply because it sounds interesting, or try something new without needing it to become a skill, achievement or side hustle?
What if you gave yourself permission to be a beginner again?
You don't have to be good at something for it to be good for you.
Sometimes, the most freeing thing we can do is stop trying to turn every experience into an accomplishment.
And simply enjoy being human.
Curiosity: The Doorway Back to Yourself
One of the things I love about curiosity is that it asks so little of us.
It doesn't demand that we have everything figured out.
It doesn't require confidence or certainty.
It simply asks, What might happen if I explored this?
Curiosity invites us out of autopilot.
It encourages us to notice things we've stopped seeing, question assumptions we've been carrying and imagine possibilities we might otherwise overlook.
And perhaps most importantly, it reminds us that we're still growing.
We're not finished.
We're not fixed.
There's still so much to discover, experience, learn and become.
Maybe there's a place you've always wanted to visit.
A subject you've always been fascinated by.
A conversation you've been meaning to have.
A different way of living you've quietly wondered about.
Or perhaps there's something you loved years ago that you've gradually stopped making time for.
You don't have to turn your entire life upside down to explore any of it.
Sometimes, coming back to yourself begins with following one small spark of interest.
Reading the book.
Taking the different route home.
Booking the class.
Saying yes to an invitation.
Or simply asking yourself, What would I love to do today if I wasn't so concerned about being productive?
Curiosity doesn't always lead somewhere extraordinary.
But it almost always reminds us that life contains more possibilities than our usual routines might suggest.
What Makes You Feel Most Like You?
There's another layer to all of this that I think is worth exploring.
Sometimes, when we've spent years meeting other people's expectations, looking after everyone else or simply doing what needs to be done, we can lose touch with our own preferences.
We know what our colleagues need.
We know what our families expect.
We know what's sensible, practical and responsible.
But ask us what we genuinely love doing, what excites us, or what we want more of in our lives, and the answer isn't always immediately obvious.
And that's okay.
You don't have to know straight away.
But it might be worth getting curious.
Because the moments when you feel most alive often have something in common.
Perhaps it's freedom.
Perhaps it's connection.
Perhaps it's creativity, adventure, learning, beauty, movement, nature or simply having the space to breathe.
And once you begin to recognise those patterns, you can start making more intentional choices about how you spend your time.
Not by creating a completely different life overnight.
But by bringing more of what matters into the life you already have.
The goal isn't to fill every moment with happiness. It's to create a life that feels more like your own.
One where there's room for responsibility and spontaneity.
Ambition and rest.
Growth and contentment.
Meaningful work and wonderfully pointless fun.
Because a full life isn't just about what we achieve.
It's also about what we experience along the way.
A Gentle Exercise: Your Aliveness List
I'd love to invite you to try something this week.
Not another task to complete perfectly.
Just a little opportunity to reconnect with the things that make you feel good.
Find yourself a quiet moment, grab a notebook or open the notes on your phone, and write down 20 things that make you feel alive.
They can be big or small.
They might be things you already do, things you haven't done in years, or things you've always wanted to try.
Don't overthink it.
And don't judge what comes up.
Perhaps your list includes:
Walking by the sea.
Having a really meaningful conversation.
Dancing to your favourite music.
Exploring somewhere you've never been.
Learning something fascinating.
Laughing until you cry.
Spending time with people who make you feel completely at ease.
Being creative without worrying about the outcome.
Trying something that scares you just a little.
Sitting somewhere beautiful and watching the world go by.
Once you've written your list, take a moment to look at it.
What do you notice?
Are there any themes?
Are there things you used to love but haven't done for ages?
Are there experiences you've been putting off until the time feels right?
And here's the most important question:
How much of what's on your list is actually present in your life right now?
Not to make yourself feel guilty.
Simply to notice.
Because awareness gives us a choice.
And sometimes, the smallest changes can make the biggest difference.
Your invitation for the week
Choose just one thing from your list.
Something that makes you smile at the thought of it.
And find a way to bring a little more of it into your week.
It doesn't need to be expensive, complicated or time-consuming.
Put your favourite music on while you're cooking.
Call the friend who always makes you laugh.
Visit somewhere new.
Spend an hour doing something purely because you enjoy it.
Or give yourself permission to do absolutely nothing without feeling that you should be doing something else.
And when you're doing it, try to be fully there.
Notice how you feel.
Notice what changes in your body, your mood, your energy.
Notice whether you feel a little lighter, more open, more connected.
You might even like to ask yourself:
What is it about this moment that makes me feel so good?
Because the more we understand what brings us alive, the more intentionally we can make space for it.
You Don't Have to Wait for Life to Begin
There's a beautiful, slightly uncomfortable truth that sits underneath all of this.
We don't know exactly how much time we have.
None of us do.
And while that thought can feel confronting, it can also be an extraordinary invitation.
Not to panic.
Not to squeeze every possible experience into every available moment.
And certainly not to put pressure on ourselves to live some impossibly perfect, Instagram-worthy life.
But to remember that this is it.
This ordinary, messy, unpredictable, beautiful life.
The one happening right now.
Not the one we'll have when we're thinner, wealthier, more successful, more confident or finally have everything figured out.
This one.
And perhaps the question isn't whether we're doing enough with our lives.
Perhaps it's whether we're allowing ourselves to experience them.
To love deeply.
To laugh often.
To stay curious.
To try things.
To make mistakes.
To change our minds.
To find beauty in ordinary moments.
To be a little ridiculous sometimes.
And to remember that joy isn't something we need to justify.
We are allowed to enjoy being alive.
Even when life isn't perfect.
Even when we're still figuring things out.
Even when there are difficult things happening alongside the beautiful ones.
In fact, especially then.
Because joy and sadness aren't opposites that cancel each other out.
They can exist together.
We can carry grief and still laugh.
Feel uncertain and still experience wonder.
Have responsibilities and still make room for play.
And perhaps that's one of the most beautiful things about being human.
We don't have to wait until every difficult feeling has disappeared before we allow ourselves to experience something wonderful.
Coming back to yourself isn't only about understanding your struggles, healing old wounds or learning to trust yourself again.
It's also about remembering what you love.
What makes you laugh.
What lights you up.
What makes you feel free.
What makes you feel unmistakably, wonderfully you.
So, here's a question I'd love you to carry into the week ahead.
If you stopped waiting for the perfect time to enjoy your life, what might you do differently today?
Maybe the answer is something wonderfully simple.
And maybe that's exactly where you begin.
A Little Support Along the Way
Sometimes, reconnecting with what makes us feel alive means creating a little space to hear ourselves again.
Space away from the noise, expectations and constant demands of everyday life. Space to explore what we genuinely want, what matters to us and what might be holding us back.
If you'd like someone to walk alongside you as you rediscover those parts of yourself, I'd love to support you.
You're warmly invited to book a free discovery call. It's simply an opportunity for us to connect, explore where you are now, and see whether working together feels like the right next step.
Or, if you'd prefer to begin at your own pace, you can explore my Reset & Rise programme — a gentle, self-guided journey designed to help you release overwhelm, find greater calm and clarity, and reconnect with yourself.
Because you deserve a life that doesn't just look good from the outside.
You deserve one that feels wonderful to live.
